My Journey Didn't End
by Window to the Soul
Summary: A monologue chronicling the events leading up to Aeris' death in FFVII and after, as told by Aeris. A spur of the moment writeup.


I didn't want to go.

You have to believe me when I say that I didn't want to go.

I may have looked serene, that I didn't want to fight what was going to come inevitably, but you're wrong. Oh, how wrong you are. Every nerve in my body, every molecule of my body screamed at me to get up and run, to run away from the cold steel that was to be my death.

But I didn't run.

I didn't hide.

I accepted that this is what had to be done. How else was that madman to be stopped? Without the power I, alone, could wield, we would all die. Everything we held dear would be swallowed up in his conquest for that imposter. The Planet knew what she really was; she was not of Its blood. She was a parasite. To let her into Its body would spell certain doom for all, no matter what anyone did.

It was all up to me.

I was the last One.

I prayed hard, not yet knowing what I had to do. I had been doing so for a while as the pieces fit together during our journeys. I had been hearing the screams of the Planet, which became all the more clearer when we left that accursed city. It was telling me what was happening to It. My mother, my sweet mother, I could hear her crying. It tore me up inside, knowing the crying was for me. But for what, I did not know at the time.

But then it came the time when I knew.

And then, I had to tell you that I knew.

At first, I thought we had won, that I would not have to do what had been told to me all those months before. However, Fate has a way of making her wishes known. After the battle, when you fell to that man's curse, I knew it was time. The way you lashed out at me, the result of madness within your own psyche coming to a breaking point, I knew I had to do something or we would lose you. You _needed_ to survive. You had no idea how special you were to the outcome of the battle overall. The Planet needed you, as they needed me now.

Before I could lose my courage, I set out, but not before telling you were it was I was going. Oh, how it broke my heart to smile and laugh at you, as if I would just be waiting for you and the others to meet up with me. I knew the true reason I needed you there. There was something you had to take from me.

Because I would not be coming back with you.

That is, not the way you wanted me to.

So I went to the secret chamber beneath the city. The whispers of those who had passed before me gave me as much comfort as they could. I was treading ever closer to my death, and nothing could stop it even if anything was tried. My mother met me at the altar, crying, but talking to me through her tears. My heart was hammering in my chest, my throat was tight, my eyes were beginning to feel tears, but I still went to the altar and knelt.

Clasping my fingers together, I began to pray. I prayed with all my might to the power of Holy; the only thing that could stop Meteor. My heartbeat slowed, but the tears began to flow. For a time, all I could think of was that it wasn't fair of what was being asked of me. 'Why did it have to be me?' kept going through my mind. I didn't want to die! I wanted to live! I wanted to see your face, to be there when the true you would surface. I wouldn't have that chance now, in this lifetime, to see it.

Then images of destruction, of the Planet collapsing upon itself in a fiery inferno entered my mind. I saw your face, and those of the others I had come to love, melt within it. Life itself would be destroyed by this man's insane quest. The tears stopped flowing and sudden warmth went through my body. I could feel my mother. She wasn't crying anymore. She was with me, and it comforted me.

I soon heard your voices, but I kept my eyes closed. I felt you ascending the stairs and froze when I heard your sword leave its sheath. Was I too late? Had that man succeeded in his quest to enslave your mind? I waited for the blow, but it never came. Instead, I heard your voice and suddenly knew you would be all right from now on. You had the others to depend on, even if you weren't inclined to admit it right now.

It was now time.

I felt his presence.

Opening my eyes, I smiled at you. I saw your face, wonder across it turn to horror as the steel sliced through me. Oh, how it burned! The agony of what I felt cannot be described with just words. I could not scream, but only feel as if my entire body was on fire. I suddenly felt numb as he began to pull the sword out. My vision was fading, my middle felt warm and sticky, and my heart beat frantically for the blood that was escaping through the fatal wound.

I looked at you, could see the disbelief and could faintly hear screams of horror from the others. I never wanted you, or anyone, to see what I had to do, but there was no other way. My mission was then complete; I could feel Holy awaken and I gave one last smile before I fell into your arms.

I did not even get the chance to feel them before I returned to the Planet.

It hurt so much to see you shake my body, begging me to wake up. I cried along with the Planet as you took your fury out on a piece of that accursed woman. My mother, beside me, held me close as I shook with sobs. I wonder if you heard them at all. It seemed as if the grief would be so loud as to shake the very room. My pain was no longer physical, but I could still feel what, in life, was called sadness.

As my body sank into the lake, I looked on. I could not return to the Planet yet. You needed me far too much to let me return. I followed you throughout the journey, but kept my distance. I could not interfere anymore, though I could give you encouragement in your darkest times.

When the final battle came, you don't know how proud I was when you rid the Planet of the man who would have killed It and all who lived here. Holy answered my prayers and life could begin anew. _You_ could begin anew.

You did not need me anymore, and I returned to those I had once lost and now were reunited with. The Planet could continue its cycle hindered no more.

I knew my death would never fully leave your mind, but you could finally put me to rest. You had found yourself in your journey through the Lifestream. You could start your new life, together with the people you loved.

Cloud. I miss you more than words can say, but I am happy. You are happy. Maybe one day, we shall be reborn and find each other again. Will we remember each other? Will you no longer go by Cloud, and I no longer by Aeris? Yet, if we are to be reborn, I believe we shall know each other by feeling, if not by sight. The connection we had that first day we met only deepened as we traveled together. It is a connection that can never be broken, even through the passage of time.

I look forward to that day, Cloud. I truly do.

I suddenly had the urge to write this yesterday, so I wrote whatever flowed to my fingers. I hope you enjoyed this. <3 


End file.
